So here's the issue. I've been dating Jon for about four and a half months now. Those who know me know that hell, this is cause for celebration. What?!? No Drea? But yeah, it's gots its ups and downs, like all relationships, but basically, I'm content.
I've noticed, however, there's this one particular female (and I use the term loosely since I've no idea who, what or how she is) that he still talks to and texts on occasion. Yes, I know. I broke my own mandate and went through his phone. I should be beaten. On a fair note, though, she called particularly late one night, and since it was the weekend and I know his friends, I'm justified in thinking it was probably one of his soldiers. *
*( here is also where I point out that the way his friends drink, getting up and taking them to the barracks and three in the morning is not at all far fetched)
So yes, I find myself in a quandry here. Part of me wants to kick his ass and choke him for daring to give some chick that came before me any attention and worse, stringing her along into believing there is the possibility of anything between them. Of course, I also realize had I not been pulling a bitch move, I wouldn't know shit about her. Which is why the second part of me is voting to just leave it alone. He wants to pull that crap, let him. That's between them. And yes, I'm well aware there are thos asking "Well, how do you know that you aren't the one being played a fool and strung along?" Easy answer. We're together every minute of the day he isn't working. He literally is around me all the time. He doesn't have time to physically cheat on me. And honestly, to be around me that much has to be love. There's no way anyone can stomach me this long without it. Hell, I can't even stomach myself that much. All of this is moot, however. I probably won't say anything because I was in the wrong, and I'll leave his phone be because that's generally how people find out things they'd rather not know. I don't make a habit of going through his stuff, or any guys' belongings I've been with (save Drea, because there were times when I either did his laundry, and christ, the things he'd carry around on a special day). So right about now, I'm going to end this and go and eat some cereal.
LOL. So my daughter is five months old tomorrow. That being said, it's around that tummy time and learn to crawl stage. So I have her laying on my bed behind me because she was supposed to be going to sleep. Instead, Jonathan wanted to play with her and get her all riled up. So I look at her, and she's fluffed up among my pillows, happily drooling all over everything while chewing on an elephant butt. She's eerily quiet for about twenty minutes, so hoping she's been asleep, I turn around. Now, it's very important that I especially avoid physical and eye contact. Otherwise, I'm sucked into the mommy spell and find myself with an arm full of Xierena against my wishes.
So imagine my surprise when she's wide awake and on her stomach, trying to kick herself loose of whatever it is she's imagined is holding her trapped. instead of picking her up and turning her over like a good mother, I sit and watch her struggle to get herself back on her back. To her credit, she doesn't cry, and I imagine through sheer stubborness and rather impressive infant strength, she managed to pull herself into an upright position and back onto her back. And was quite pleased with herself. have to admire babies.
But that the only thing I wanted to let you guys in on. babies are pretty amazing.
So again, sitting here bored when I know damn well I should be sleeping. Daughter is asleep on Granny Ma's couch, boyfriend is victim to random five inch heeled boot taking a flying lesson and passed out on love seat, and Mommy is on the laptop hot for no apparent reason. Why I'm so heated is beyond me. It's not like it's freakishly warm in here.
So onto my question, and seriously, and answer would be wonderous. Why is a guy is willing to put in all this work to get this awesome girlfriend, take her out, buy really awesome fake flowers in a cute pastel vase that doesn't match the dcor of the living room because a certain female is allergic to the real deal, but as soon he gets her, develops an instant comfort zone that entitles him to leave the toilet seat up? And before some smart ass says something along the lines of "I bet he doesn't complain about you leaving it down", I'd like to point out hey, I'm a female, my roommate uses Pampers and is also female, and there is no reason for my toilet seat to be up unless I'm cleaning said germ infested porcelin. Peraps I'm making too big a deal of this, but I hate going to the bathroom at three in the morning after a feeding just to fall into the toilet.
And actually, while the whole toilet seat thing irritates the hell out of me, I just am having a difficult time adjusting to having a boyfriend again. I can't remember any of my exes irking me with the things they do like Jonathan does. And it's not like he does these things every day. It's like once every ten days, he'll do something that makes me want to dig him a grave. None of these things occured before we made ourselves official. And some would say it's because now he's at my house almost every night, but he was there before we made it official, and these occurances never happened.
Guys basically suck. The only reason females put up with them is because from time to time, the positive outweighs the negative.
So Xi had rice cereal for the first time today. I didn't think it would be a big deal until I had to do it. So yeah, anyway. Easter Sunday. We were planning a family get together, dressing up, all that good stuff. It came to a screeching halt this morning when I arrived at my mom's house and realized that Xi's breastmilk had spilled all over both of our dressed in my bag. And wouldn't you know, both her dress and mine were line dry only. So I washed them, hung them up and hoped for the best. We spent most of the morning hanging out with my mom and sister. I went back and forth to my house throughout the day, and eventually we had Easter dinner. Now with Xi's milk all over the bottom of my Joe Boxer, she was throwing a fit. And do you think Miss Prissy was satisfied with formula? Oh, no. She spit it out, turned her head and refused to even put the bottle in her mouth. She flat out REFUSED to drink her Similac. It shocked me, because usually babies will drink whatever milk comes their way. And while I could pump and give her breastmilk, it doesn't keep her as full anymore, no matter how much she drinks, so I would have had to start her on the cereal soon anyway. I just wish I didn't have to. I want Xierena on breast milk exclusively for as long as possible. But such is life.
Mommy rants aside, ya girl is finally twenty three. I don't know why I was looking forward to it. Probably because twenty two was one of the shittiest ages in my life. But yeah. It was cool. I spent my birthday with my family while Jonathan was at work. And since it was a Friday, we had to keep the buck wildness down. But Saturday we went out to Applebee's, went and clubbed in Aggieville, then went back to my for once, empty apartment. Since Granny Ma kidnapped my daughter for me to celebrate, Jonathan and I spent the night giving me reason to pray my birth control works. It was cool, though. It was nice to have a break from parenting where I didn't have to call and check in or wonder when someone was going to call me.
And speaking of my boyfriend. He uttered those three words recently. Froze my freaking heart mid beat. Sadly, not so much because I was just bursting to say it back, but because I was too content with us just really liking each other. But it's okay, because I'm past ready to move on, and I made the mistake of letting a past relationship dictate a new one, and I don't want to do that again. I do realize now why I never fucked with soldiers. He goes to NTC next month and on his third tour in Iraq in September. Obviously, I don't want him to go. I miss him when he goes to the field. The idea of him being gone for a whole year depresses me. It makes me resent anything that take my time away from him.
That being said, some time this week after Xi's appointment, I'm taking the baby down to Wichita to spend the day with Drea. He just totaled his car, and since I'm in school, it's not like I can just pop down there whenever now. But once I get a break, I'll probably go down there for a week or so and we'll be cool. I'm thinking probably next month. Jon will be gone, and with my classes ending the fourth and I don't have to go back for a while, it'll work out nicely.
Anyway, I'd love to sit and chat, but that mommy thing is calling.
